I’ve been wanting to blog about the new Star Trek movie and share all I have to say about it, which is a considerable amount. But I don’t know how to even broach my feelings on the subject without posting massive spoilers, and even though I could preface my blog with disclaimers and launch forth (or shall I say “engage”?), I hate exposing plots online. Someone or other who doesn’t realize that they will have any interest in this movie (say, my mom, maybe) will read it and then will some day see the film anyway (seriously, Mom, you should totally see it) and then that person’s experience will be colored by my divulgations and indiscretions.
And yet, I’m itching to talk about it, so here’s what I’ve come up with. I know I’m probably the absolute last self-respecting Trekkie to get out to see this movie. So I’m posting my review in Klingon. Only another trekkie would be geeky enough to waste the time translating it and that way Mom is totally safe.
ghurmoH Kahless 'oH ghaHta' Dun. Dun Dun Dun! jIH muSHa' casting. The plot ghaHta' rur Dun may'. chaH Qaw'ta' poH tlhegh 'ej jIH yImev 'ach yab. jIH ghaj Daq legh 'oH latlh. 'oH laH taH [the] HochHom QaQ Hov Trek movie jIH ghaj leghpu' 'ej jIH ghaj leghpu' Hoch vo' chaH. Perhaps 'ach latlh QaQ wa'DIch Contact. Dun! 'oH ghajtaH taH QaQ ja' Hov Trek reboot. vetlh 'oH teH 'ej Dochvammey ghotpu ghaj toDpu' Hov Trek - forgive the pun - enterprise. QaQ ta'pu'!
As an aside, this simplified and shortened my review to certain extent. Klingons are fairly direct, and outside of the realms of Klingon opera, not big on the adjectives. But you get the gist of it.