My lawn and my neighbor's lawn were the last two on the block that hadn't been mowed since the spring weather started. The rest of the neighborhood was clean and trim, with freshly planted pansies and petunias. Our yards had become foot high jungles housing creatures from the black lagoon. Today a three-foot long garden snake wove his way through the thicket and slithered right up to my husband. No joke.
It was clearly time to deal with this situation before the neighbors banded together and cordoned off our yards with police tape.
My husband and I have a little manual push mower. I really like it. It's quiet, energy efficient, and I generally find it to be a pleasant bonding experience with my lawn. However, our little mower was no match for this foe. Not today. We definitely needed to haul out some heavier artillery.
Our neighbor has an electric mower which she graciously lets us use from time to time. Not this time though. She had no wish to be the only house on the block with an infant primeval forest sprouting up on her front lawn. No, we couldn't borrow her lawn mower until after she had mowed her lawn. My husband, who had his heart set on gardening this weekend, struck a deal. If he could borrow the mower, he'd mow both lawns. The alliance was formed and Shawn waged a mighty battle against the fiendish foliage.
While the war raged in the front yard I attacked the back. I'd just pull a few weeds I thought. I had noticed that a few had crept it, and indeed they had. What I hadn't noticed until I really took the time to examine the intruders was that these were no longer ordinary weeds; they were approaching tree status. One came up to my waist and bore a striking resemblance to the plant from Little Shop of Horrors. Another -- a spiky, cranky thing -- literally took a layer of skin off my finger and then bit me, leaving its little needle-like teeth in my skin.
It's sunset now. The lawn is trim and clean. The weeds have been contained in yard waste bins and barring any abilities Audrey 2 might have to open lids and crawl back into the soil, I think I've seen the last of her. Flowers are tucked in their beds. The tomatoes are planted. Winter's rubbish has been raked away.
I'm filthy dirty but I feel accomplished. Accomplished enough to warrant a cold beer and episode of Star Trek, which NetFlix has kindly brought to my door.
Happy Spring, everybody.