Coming Soon

March 28, 2006 - 12:00am -- swingbug

Don't you hate "Coming Soon" signs? Okay, "hate" is a strong word, but they're definitely irritating. They provide very little information. How about "Coming Next Week" or "Hopefully Coming By The Beginning Of Summer" or even "We're Working On It But Honestly We Don't Know When It's Going To Be Done." At least that gives you something. But what's soon?

I'm a pretty patient person, I'd say. It's generally noted as a Taurus trait. I call it my inner cow. I'll graze in my field, sniff the flowers like Ferdinand, and wait it out. In general, I'm pretty good at it. Something about the word "soon" vexes me though.

How many people out there besides me have been expectantly checking the create a fairy section of the Disney fairies website faithfully everyday? No doubt some of my readers think I'm nuts, but I know I'm not the only one. I've been checking it for months now. (Stubbornness, I'm told, is also a Taurus trait.) "Coming Soon," it said when I first logged on. "Coming Soon," it's been saying to me everyday for months. With an exclamation point even, like that's somehow going to help it get here faster.

And still there are no fairies for me to create. What definition of "soon" are they using anyway?

They could at least give me a ball park figure. Something to chew on. Heck, even doctors give pregnant women a due date even though it's wildly inaccurate. If they tell you October 12th, it could actually be anywhere plus or minus two weeks of that date. So what does that mean? Probably October. But it's something. Something to circle on your calendar anyway.

Morning sickness is another one. I mean, they say it only lasts the first three months, but there is always footnote there. It's really more like "probably three months, for most women." Even the name "morning sickness" indicates something that happens in a specific bracket of time, which any pregnant women can tell you is total bunk -- trust me, I was sick all day yesterday -- but somehow it makes you feel a little bit better having a time frame. Imagine if you asked a doctor when you were going to feel better and all they said was "soon." I don't think so. That won't fly.

Well, I'm rambling a bit but I do have an important point in here and I think it's pretty obvious what it is, so let me just say it out right: Come on, Disney. Crack the whip over your web designers and get that fairy page built. Jeez! It's soon already.

* * * * *

Oh, and did I mention that I was pregnant? That too. So, if you see a lost-looking stork circling around with a map and a little bundle sometime soon sometime in October, point him towards my house. Much obliged.

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