I turned 39 on Sunday. The first present I got that day was a stomach flu. What do you get the girl who has everything, right?
My kid very sweetly wanted to make me scrambled eggs for breakfast, which I had to decline. My parents brought me a picnic lunch, which I promptly threw up, and my husband bought me a cake that I couldn't even look at.
For anyone who doesn't know me in the real world, when I am uninterested in cake, something has gone very wrong indeed.
I spent about 24 hours huddled under a blanket on the couch. My friends, I have to tell you, not my best birthday ever.
And my sincere apologies go out to the friends and family with whom I had contact at the outset of Sunday before I figured out what the score was.
This thing has been making the rounds out my way. We've had several automated calls from the school district and the county's been talking to the papers. They're making a fuss and calling it Norovirus. Folks, in case you didn't know, "Norovirus" is a fancy name for a stomach flu. You can read about it on the CDC's website, because hooray for science. Don't freak out. Take it seriously, because sure, a stomach flu can be serious. But this is not a sequel to Outbreak. Just wash your hands frequently. If you get sick, stay hydrated and maybe check in with your doctor. It'll be okay. (I mean, it will blow chunks, both literally and figuratively, but it will, in fact, be okay.)
They give a name to something contagious and everybody panics. Honestly, I wish they'd give out three names, so that while I'm hanging out in front of the toilet, I can yell at it good and proper. As in "Noro Matthew Virus, you get out of my gastrointestinal system right now, or so help me..." Empty threats always sound better when you have a middle name to wield.
But, as of now, I'm happy to say that I've kicked it to the curb. By yesterday, I was feeling human again, though a little wobbly from dehydration and still highly suspicious of food in general, and today I actually felt a little bouncy. What a difference a solid meal makes.
My county put out a press statement asking anyone who got this particular batch floating around to stay home for 48 hours after symptoms abated, and I'm being a very good girl and doing just that. Let's not make this the birthday gift that keeps on giving.
But tonight I felt well enough to look at the birthday cake, and even have a slice, so I'm officially back to normal.
And a year older. Wow. Where did that come from?