The phone rings. I'm simultaneously making dinner and assisting in 4th grade geography homework. I pause in the middle of spelling 'Mediterranean' to grab the receiver.
The long pause and click announces a telemarketer better than a calling card.
The subsequent slaughtering of my surname confirms as much.
"This is she."
"Hello, ma'am. My name is Chuck. I'm calling from Windows tech support. This call is regarding your computer."
"That," I say, flipping a grilled cheese sandwich, "is highly unlikely."
"Why is that, ma'am?"
"I have a Mac."
There is a pause, during which I check the melting cheese.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I appear-"
"You're sorry you have to work on Windows? I bet you are. You have my condolences on that point."
I shrug and slide the sandwiches on a plate. "-T-E-R-R-A-N-E-A-N".