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Survival of the Fittest: Musings in a Grocery Store

August 31, 2015 - 10:33pm -- swingbug

My lunch break found me passing a Whole Foods today with a grumbling tummy. I ducked in, bought a slice of pizza from the deli counter, and headed for the check stand. I passed another shopper in the produce department, walking competently, if not speedily, in three-inch heels.

How has this bit of female dress persevered in modern culture for 75+ years? I found myself wondering, while I waited to pay for my lunch, if this is like birds. I've heard it postulated that the extreme plumage that some male birds display to attract females is meant to show off their strength and fitness. "I'm bright red and my tail drags like a kite and still nothing's managed to eat me. I must be a smart, strong bird to survive in spite of this kind of impedement. We should hang out."

Are high heels supposed to be like that? To display that even though you've tacked big sticks under the back half of your feet and make a terrible clatter when you walk, nothing's eaten you and you don't regularly fall over, so you must be pretty agile and therefore a good catch to potential male admirers?

As I conducted my transaction, the heel-clad shopper finally made it to the checkout lines. "Maybe so," I thought. I looked down at my Converse All-Stars. "But in case of zombie apocalypse, if all I have to do is to be faster than you, lady, I think I'm going to do alright."

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