The dishes are done, man.

September 26, 2007 - 2:16pm -- swingbug

It seems a pesky poltergeist has moved into my house, and just in time for Halloween. How appropriate.

I had been mixing up some fruit and cottage cheese for Luke’s lunch and was on my way to the recycle bin to bid adieu to the empty cottage cheese container when I heard a clanking sound. I turned just in time to see my cabinet door open of its own accord and every plate and bowl in my cupboard issue forth like a ceramic waterfall. The wreckage poured across the counter, over the floor, and spilled out into the hallway. Shards of plates glittered in Luke’s bowl of cottage cheese. The plate I had piled leftovers on for my own lunch had cracked clean in half, spewing mushroom lasagna on the stove. The entire floor was covered in sharp bits of dish, except the square meter or so directly behind me, where – thanks be to God – Luke was sitting with his toys.

Casper’s buddy might be inconvenient but at least he’s not entirely dangerous. I had been standing under that cabinet not five seconds before the plates went on parade. I’m rather glad he waited until I moved.

I plucked the baby up into my arms and stood in the wreckage not knowing what to say but, “Wow.” So I said about ten times over.

Wow, indeed. Literally every dinner plate we have is smashed. We have one bowl and a handful of salad plates that were in the dishwasher. The saucer that had already been broken, discarded, reincarnated, and found its way back to me had been on the counter directly under cabinet at ground zero. Somehow, it skirted danger by scooting into the drying rack in the sink, and taking its passenger teacup along with it. I’ll have to send Peeves a thank you note for that one, I suppose.

My dishes did not match, were not family heirloom, and while I was fond of some of them, I won’t weep over-much at their demise. Still, they were bloody convenient to eat off of.

Luke and I stood in the blast radius, shrapnel crunching under my feet. I tried to begin to get my head around how exactly I ought to proceed. I picked up the bowl of rather sharp cottage cheese and set it down again.


I looked at Luke, who appeared as surprised as I was. “What do you say we go out to lunch today?” And we walked out of the kitchen.

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