March 2, 2005 - 12:00am -- swingbug

My ballet recital piece is spinning wildly out of control. The music we're using is "Rhapsody in Blue" and before you sigh and say, "Oh, I love that piece!" think about the complexity of the music for a second. Chaos. Now picture 30 ballerinas running on and off stage in groups within groups within groups and then regrouping again. Now picture it for nine minutes. Now picture rehearsals where half the people don't show up. Jenny and I found out on Tuesday that our group of 6 is really a group of 8 but two girls just didn't bother to show up to class for the last month and a half. Charming. We're all going to develepé right into each other and go over like a row of blue dominoes.

Fortunately, I have a solution. We need the Borg. The whole class must be assimilated. As a Borg collective we will be efficient and superior. Our dancing will be as one.

I shall now be known as 3-of-8, tertiary adjunct B, section 1. This will clear things up. Had I known for the last month that I was 3-of-8 and not 2-of-6 it would have helped considerably. I wouldn't be smacking ronde de jambes into the back of 2-of-8 now.

As a borg collective, we will be as one. Our soutenu turns will be synchonized, our pirouettes flawless. Inefficiency will not be tolerated. We will assimilate you. Your physical and mental strengths will be adapted to service us. You will count with the beat. You will turn on command. You will obey the hive mind.

We are the Borg.

Resistance is futile.

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